Chop chop

My hair has been quite long for a few years now. The last time I had it properly cut was in 2011, and that was only because I wanted to get rid of damaged hair. I wasn't a fan of the cut, simply because I wanted long hair and was devastated that I had to chop so much of it off.

It was so unhealthy from bleaching and dyeing and bleaching and dyeing again that I had no choice. So I let it grow... and grow and grow. Once I had virgin hair coming down to my shoulders, I got the ends done in an ombre style as the colour was a slightly different colour to my natural hair. And I continued to let it grow. It got all the way down to the top of my hips and I LOVED IT. I could style my hair in so many ways and when it was down, it felt like a thick, silky curtain covering my back.

However, long hair requires a LOT of maintenance, something which I gradually started to get very tired of. I would throw my hair up into a bun to avoid having to style it. I wouldn't even bother properly drying my hair most of the time because it just took SO. MUCH. TIME. My hair gets greasy pretty fast and if it weren't for dry shampoo (or talc when you're a bit skint), I would have to wash it every day, which is even more annoying when there is so much of it to wash. I would get frustrated easily when styling was necessary, and the weight of my hair sometimes gave me a headache when it was tied back. In the end, I just constantly wanted it out of my face and out of the way.

I even started braiding my hair in a way that reduced the length.

I started looking at pictures of shorter hairstyles. I saw people with cute bobs and shorter cuts and imagined how much easier it must have been for them to manage their hair. I noticed celebrities going for dramatic chops and wondered how it felt, just lopping off all that hair. That's when I started thinking; what if I do the same? Just cut off all my hair, go back to a bob? I looked at old pictures of myself with short hair and actually liked it and thought I suited it, it framed my face well. I even made a list of pros and cons - the only con I came up with was "might regret it afterwards", but I countered that with "it will grow back eventually". I felt as though everything was telling me to do it. The final thing that really made the decision for me was a friend who told me about donating hair for children who have lost theirs - I love helping others and give to charities as often as I can, and this seemed like a great idea. There's nothing better to me than helping someone in need.

I booked an appointment with the hairdressers a week in advance and found myself counting down the days. I was so excited to get my hair cut, to finally have a new style and to find it a lot more manageable. I did have moments where I thought "oh no, what am I doing?" but I reminded myself of the donation I would be making and, a little more selfishly, how much easier my hair would be to manage. The day finally came - I washed and dried my long hair for the last time (which took about an hour annoyingly) then made my way to the salon.

My hairdresser told me she had never cut someone's ponytail off before, and she was pretty nervous. I brought two bobbles with me, one for the top and one to tie the braid off at the end. It wasn't as quick as I imagined it being - it took a few snips to get the whole ponytail off, I for some reason thought it would be one swift chop, not realising how thick hair is in a ponytail. My hair fell to the sides of my face, now just reaching my shoulders, and my hairdresser brought the ponytail around for me to see. I couldn't believe that that was my hair.

She gave me a bag to put it in and got on with styling the hair that was left on my head. Initially, I had given her a picture of what I wanted:

I loved the cut and colour this girl had, although I was sure I'd never be able to get the exact colour; I didn't think I would suit it or that my hair would even go that light. Nevertheless, my hairdresser went ahead and aimed for this style and colour, so I was excited to see how it would turn out. She put a highlighting cap on my head and pulled as much hair through as she possibly could. It did hurt a bit and the cap is pretty tight, but I got used to it once the bleach was on my hair, and I knew it was worth it anyway.

I was left like this for around half an hour, and when my hairdresser came to check if the colour had lifted, she was quite surprised; my hair had gone a LOT lighter than it initially was:

I was beyond excited now, I had never had my hair this light before and I couldn't wait to see the finished product. Once she felt it had been bleached enough, she rinsed my hair, then added some toner to get the ashy look I was going for. I sat with that for around 20-30 minutes, then my hair was washed again. Now it was time for the trimming - this was the part I was actually the most nervous about because I wanted my hair just like the picture I had used initially. After some snips and cuts, my hair was ready to be dried. I watched in the mirror, amazed at the colour. I genuinely couldn't believe how light it had gone! Once dried, my hairdresser adjusted any bits that needed it, then used straighteners to give it a little shape and style. She finished, and asked me what I thought - I don't think I've ever been so excited about a haircut in my life!

End result - I LOVE it!!

I thought that cutting off my long hair would be scary, but once I was sat in the salon in front of the mirror, I was encouraging my hairdresser to do it; I don't regret it one bit. My hair is so much easier to manage, I'm madly in love with the colour and I'm beyond ecstatic that I get to help a child who has lost their hair with the donation of my own. Cutting my hair was the best decision I have made in a while, and while it can be frightening to think about, once it's done it feels amazing. I may have long hair again in the future, and if I ever get to the point again of wanting to cut it off, I'm glad I know that I can donate it... and that it's not so scary after all!

Thinking about going for the chop? If you meet the guidelines, you too can donate your hair to The Little Princess Trust, a charity that provides real hair wigs and hairpieces for children who have lost their hair. Visit their website here - and don't worry if you can't donate hair, you can donate money or even fundraise for the cause too.

Thanks for reading!

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Dealing with migraines

I've suffered from headaches for quite a long time - the earliest I remember getting frequent headaches, I was around the age of 9 or 10. It didn't occur to me at the time that having a headache every other day was a little unusual, but my mum took me to see an optometrist; turns out I did need glasses. I'm long-sighted, so I only ever needed my glasses for reading, and even though I did wear my glasses as often as I remembered to (I've now just put them on because I forgot to again) I still got headaches quite frequently.

I continued to have headaches right through my teens, putting it down to stress. I didn't have the best time in secondary school, so I assumed the headaches came from that. It was only when I got to the age of 20 that I thought, "this isn't right. I wake up with headaches sometimes, and painkillers don't always work" but still, I dismissed it as me being under stress or not wearing my glasses enough.

It was only a few years ago, when the "chronic headache" happened, that I actually did something about it. I remember it was sometime in November 2012, I was in work. I was walking down the stairs when all of a sudden this sharp pain hit me out of nowhere on the left side of my head. I felt dizzy and sick, and for a moment thought I was going to pass out and tumble down the stairs. Luckily, the dizziness passed, but the stabbing pain remained. It throbbed every now and again, and the only way I could describe it was like this:

"imagine if the brain felt pain, and was really sensitive to it, then imagine someone squeezing it in a pulse motion, then poking the left side with a sharpened fingernail, and the pain goes all the way through the left side of the brain".

That's what I said to my doctor when I finally decided I'd had enough and made an appointment.

I was referred to a specialist, who again asked me to describe the pain. They told me that if it was anything serious, something bad would have happened to me by then - it had been over three months, I'd gone through Christmas, New Year and my birthday with these awful headaches. I was happy it was nothing serious, but I still wanted to know what was going on and whether the headaches would ever stop. I was waking up to them, and going to sleep with them. The stress of the headaches hadn't helped either, so my sleeping pattern was all over the place, I felt low and I was forgetting things all the time. I was given an MRI scan, one of the most uncomfortable things I have ever experienced. The results came back clear, and FINALLY, the doctor diagnosed me with migraine.

I decided to research migraines online. I had heard of them before, but I always thought they were just really bad headaches. I discovered that it's not just a standard headache and that it is, in fact, a chronic neurological disorder. The cause is unknown, and it is more likely to be found in women, especially women who have relatives who suffer from the condition. I, unfortunately, drew the genetic short straw - my dad and my grandmother both suffer from migraines and I am female, so it was pretty damn likely I was going to inherit the condition. In a good month, I might have two migraines. In a particularly bad, stressful month, I might have 5 or 6. I've been dealing with this for a while now, and I think I've found ways to help reduce my chances of getting a migraine and how to help it go away quicker when I do have one:

1. Lie down in a dark room.

As a child, whenever I went to see my grandparents with my dad, I noticed my nan often disappeared into the back room, and I was told not to disturb her. I asked why, but being so young I probably wouldn't have understood and was just told that she needed to lie down. I found out years later that it was due to her having a migraine, and after being told I have it myself, I tried it too. It does help - there's no light, very little sound and helps you relax. I also found that the sound of a ticking clock helped too - the rhythmic, soft tick relaxes me (on a weird side note, the sound of a ticking clock used to freak me out a little) and sends me into a trance-like state. Sometimes, the headache eventually subsides. Sometimes it doesn't. In that case, I try...

2. Taking a hot bubble bath.

I tried this recently after lying down for three hours didn't seem to do the trick. I ran a bath, used one of my Lush bath bombs and some lavender bath salts (although next time I want to try oils), as well as some of my Soap & Glory bubble bath. I instantly felt better, my muscles relaxed, my head felt lighter and less foggy, and the pain slowly faded into a dull ache that I found I could function much better with. Again, though, this doesn't always work, but you could always try...

3. Changing your lifestyle and/or diet.

This can be more of a long-term solution, and the main thing to look for here is triggers. I was told by my doctor to avoid caffeine, cheese, chocolate and red wine - three of those I consume on frequently. I decided to keep a food diary and keep track of the frequency and intensity of my headaches. I found that drinks with high caffeine content give me headaches, as well as red wine (which I'm not fond of anyway). Thankfully, cheddar and mozzarella cheese did not cause headaches, and neither did a certain amount of chocolate (although too much can). Alcohol can also cause headaches, depending on what I have, and so can a lot of tea and coffee. I can't do too much exercise, which is unfortunate - intense workouts give me the most painful throbbing sensation, so I try to do gentle exercise instead.

The first two options on this list are easy if you have the time, but what about working people? In my case, working in a bar was probably the worst thing for my headaches - loud music, loud drunk people, flashing lights - it was everything I should avoid whenever I have a migraine. Using computers can make my headache worse too, the bright light of the screen making my head pound and my eyes ache. In these cases, I tried...

4. Wearing ear plugs.

In my job before my most recent one, work started usually around 10 pm and finished at 3-6am, depending on the night. We spent the majority of the night listening to loud, bassy dance music, while customers shouted orders down our ears. We were issued with a set of ear plugs, similar to the ones pictured above, and at first, I didn't bother using them - I found them particularly uncomfortable. It was only until I went through my chronic headache that I began wearing them, and found them actually quite helpful. While they didn't completely block out noise, they made everything quieter and more bearable.

5. Wear sunglasses.

This might sound completely ridiculous, and people I've mentioned this to often laugh, but sometimes it's the only thing I can do. I've had my fair share of nasty headaches, and I've found that wearing sunglasses both outdoors and indoors helps - it stops me squinting at screens and, although it doesn't make my headache any better, it certainly doesn't make it any worse. I mostly wear them when I have a moderate-to-bad headache and I absolutely have to use a computer or look at a screen. My laptop permanently has the brightness turned down to the lowest setting as well, only very rarely will I turn it up - definitely not when I have a headache.

6. Take painkillers.

A month before my MRI scan, I was advised by my doctor to not take any form of painkiller. He told me that taking a painkiller will only suppress a headache temporarily, and as soon as the effects wear off the headache will return. I attempted this for one month (this was during my chronic headache) and actually hated my doctor for suggesting this. I was desperate to have some kind of relief, and sneakily had the occasional painkiller (rebel). However, this was not the only reason he suggested I not take any - sometimes painkillers can give you a headache if you take them too often. Now, I only take painkillers when none of the above has worked and the headache is becoming too much to handle. But if that doesn't work, and nothing else works, the only thing you can do is...

7. Go home, and refer to #1 and #2.

If the pain becomes too much and you find yourself unable to function, there's no point in you staying in work, as you won't be able to produce very much. I told my previous boss about my migraines, and he understood that, in the event of a really bad one, I might have to request to go home. I only did this once, thankfully, and while it is frustrating, there's not much you can do. If the headache doesn't go away after three days, make sure you...

8. Go to the Doctors.

I was prescribed with antidepressants, which sounds bizarre, but I was told that antidepressants are often prescribed to people who suffer from the kind of constant migraine I had. My daily headache began to dull, and one day I woke up headache free. After a short while longer on the antidepressants, my headaches had dramatically reduced to a couple per month lasting no more than three days, depending on certain factors of course (stress levels, diet etc.)

Nowadays, I always carry painkillers around with me, so that if I find myself in a situation where I cannot do any of the above and the headache is almost too much for me to bear, I can help settle it with some Migraleve or paracetamol, and just hope it works. I try to avoid taking painkillers too much, though, for fear of having a medication overuse headache (MOH). I deal with my headaches much better now and hope that one day the condition will decrease in severity and I won't have to suffer as much anymore.

You can also support The Migraine Trust, a charity who "seek to empower, inform and support those affected by migraine while educating health professionals and actively funding and disseminating research."

Do you suffer from migraines? How do you deal with it? Comment below!

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Getting back into it all

So it's been some time since I posted on here, and in fact I've now removed all of my posts (apart from the Hell's Itch post, simply because many people have actually used it for advice and I don't want to take that away!). Basically, I'm looking to start over, so I've redesigned my blog, once again using the wonderful website that is The Cutest Blog On The Block, and like I said I've removed all of my previous posts.

Things have been a little difficult for me the past couple of years, but I finally feel like I'm ready to get my life back together. I know I've probably said that a million times, but over the past few weeks I've been sleeping better, managing my moods better and eating better too, so I feel now might be a good time to try to be overall better. Seriously, mental illnesses suck.

Anyway, I've decided to start this blog back up again because... well, why not? I used to have fun with it, until I got really bad and then it started to feel like a chore, something that stressed me out and made me worry unnecessarily. I've never wanted writing to feel like that - writing has been my passion since an early age, and for it to have such a negative impact on me upset me a lot, so I abandoned the blog. I abandoned many other social media platforms too; Facebook, Instagram, Tumblr... but I gradually returned them (no power on this earth would make me remove my Twitter account though).

There is no theme here anymore. Not that there ever really was, in fact I usually just wrote about topics that came to mind, but from now on I'm rejecting the idea of rejecting an idea, simply because I want things to write about. I love writing, and when I'm passionate about things I like to keep them in my life. Obviously I won't be writing a load of bollocks, but I won't be avoiding topics that don't go with my blog style (by that, I mean that often people with cutesy blogs have a particular theme, but I don't want that. I just want a cutesy looking blog because I like cute things) so expect quite a range in the content.

There also won't be any schedule, at least not yet. Like I said, I'm trying to get better and I think I'm ready to take steps in doing that, but I do NOT want to put too much pressure on myself. If I can manage to maintain an infrequent blog, then maybe I can manage more things, then maybe I can schedule them. Baby steps.

Anyway, I've babbled on here for long enough, and this post is only really to say hello again, and I hope I can make something entertaining, interesting or just time killing for the internet to see. So, here's hoping!

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